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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25645171">Shattered</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Titans (Animated Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Episode: s03e05 Haunted, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hidden Injuries, Hurt/Comfort, Stubborn Robin, beast boy and robin are friends</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:08:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,507</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25645171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Robin," Slade said again. This time, Robin almost fell off his chair--he held onto it tightly with one hand. He glanced one by one at his teammates. "Do you hear that?" he asked hesitantly. </p>
<p>They all turned to look at him. "Hear what?" Raven asked, one eyebrow raised.</p>
<p>Robin shrugged, trying to play it off like it was nothing. "Thought I heard something," he said casually. "Never mind."<br/>---</p>
<p>Though Robin's system is free of Slade's hallucinogenic dust, Slade's voice still calls his name. Robin is increasingly alarmed by what he knows must only be in his mind, but he has to stay strong for the team. Because they're the ones who truly matter.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dick Grayson &amp; Garfield Logan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shattered</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Robin, dude, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to come play Mega Monkeys Ultimate: Apocalypse Edition with me," said a green orangutan from his perch on Robin's shoulder. He hopped off and soared through the air onto the couch, where he landed with an alarming crack as a gorilla. "This game's got everything. Monkeys, zombies, violence, hot monkey babes, hot </span>
  <em>
    <span>zombie </span>
  </em>
  <span>babes--"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I wish I could," Robin lied, not looking up from his computer. "I'm busy."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>busy!" Beast Boy whined, his face falling tragically as he morphed back into human form. "Come on, you've been looking at those files for </span>
  <em>
    <span>hours!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Mhm," Robin replied inattentively. Truth be told, he had already tuned his teammate out. While he was definitely of the opinion that even superheroes should relax and enjoy themselves every now and then, there just wasn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>time. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The crime files weren't going to update themselves, and there was research to be done--if Slade was truly dead (Question number one on the list of things Robin needed to find out) someone else had to have activated the chemical reagent in the mask. Who? And why? Normal people didn't go around planting hallucination-death-dust in people's homes, after all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Roooooooobiiiiiiiiin,," </span>
  </em>
  <span>Beast Boy moaned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why don't you ask Cyborg to play with you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't want to play with Cyborg," Beast Boy insisted beseechingly, yellow eyes boring into his leader's back. "I want to play with </span>
  <em>
    <span>you."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That caught Robin's attention. He turned around to face his teammate, sudden vulnerability welling up in his chest. "What?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah dude," the shapeshifter said, apparently unaware of the emotion his declaration had sparked. "You're always so busy with your </span>
  <em>
    <span>work </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>missions</span>
  </em>
  <span> and stuff, you never have time to just, you know, chill! Plus, Cyborg always wins. It'll be nice to totally take someone down for once."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly competitive, Robin stood up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin knew he hadn't been the best teammate as of late. His obsession with Slade had endangered their missions--he'd been off his game. If one of the Titans had gotten hurt, it would have been all his fault, and didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive himself if that happened. Sure, the team had sustained injuries before. They were superheroes--it was quite literally in the job description. But Robin had always been there to help. He'd covered Cyborg while he quickly replaced a part; caught Starfire before she hit the ground; stitched Raven up when she got a cut she couldn't instantly self-heal. It was one of the things he prided himself upon as a leader. Since Slade, though, he hadn't been a leader at all. And not only had he neglected his duties as a hero, he had failed as a friend. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guilt rose in Robin's chest, momentarily drowning out his determination to solve the case. This latest incident with the Slade hallucinations had opened Robin's eyes to his own flaws, that was for sure. And damned if he wasn't going to fix them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, he decided in that moment, hell yeah he was gonna play </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mega Monkeys Ultimate: Apocalypse Edition</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Beast Boy. He was going to be the best video game buddy anyone had ever seen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re on.” Robin took the controller Beast Boy handed him and took a seat beside him on the sofa. "So, uh, what is the objective here?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beast Boy beamed--that distinctive, fanged grin he insisted the ladies swooned over. It was infectious. Robin couldn't help his own smile from forming. "Okay, so, see that monkey there? That's me. And that other one, with the tutu? That's you. We're saving the civilians of Monkeyville from an invasion of zombies!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sounds doable," Robin agreed. He pressed A, and his monkey shot a banana from her Banana Blaster. It hit a zombie dead on and decapitated it with a bright red explosion. He laughed delightedly. "Oh, this is gonna be easy."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Just wait." Beast Boy fired off his own weapon and took out three zombies at once. "Take that, you slimy flesh bags!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Combo!" </span>
  </em>
  <span>the television announced.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin gaped. "How did you do that?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beast Boy rolled his eyes, but didn't take them off the screen. "You've gotta unlock the Coconut Cannon, duh. It's in a hidden temple on level three--"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Spoilers!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fine! Fine, I'll let you figure it out for yourself. If you even can."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Playing video games with Beast Boy was, in a weird, unexpected way, therapeutic. The game was mind-numbing and easy, and Robin could defend the inhabitants of Monkeyville without having to worry about anyone's safety. He could be as reckless as he wanted. Robin wasn't exactly winning--Beast Boy had uncovered the Banana Bomb on level five and was now blowing up entire hoards of zombies at a time, while Robin was still stuck with the cast-off Coconut Cannon--but for once, that didn't matter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And, while he wasn't going to admit it, it meant something to him that Beast Boy had wanted to play with Robin rather than anyone else. He knew it was a stupid, childish worry, but sometimes an alarming thought crept in--</span>
  <em>
    <span>did any of the Titans actually like him?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Like, as a person, and not as a hero. Usually he squashed the fear down before it could actually take root, but with all of this Slade business, the insecurity had come back stronger than ever. If they weren't heroes, would they still want to be his friend? If he took off his mask and put down the bo staff, would they respect the real person behind the disguise? Or was all their respect owed to the hero he wanted them to see--bold, fearless, and utterly unbeatable. He didn’t suppose it mattered very much. But that wasn’t the point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All he knew was: chasing after an enemy that only existed in his mind--he must have looked insane. And at the very least, that wasn't the sort of person Robin would want on his team. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You didn't just </span>
  <em>
    <span>look </span>
  </em>
  <span>insane," said a voice in his ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin jumped out of his seat and landed hard on the ground, breathing raggedly. He knew that voice. He would know that voice anywhere. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beast Boy's eyes were wide. "Dude," he said, looking alarmed. "What was that?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Did you hear that?" Robin asked, trying to make his voice sound steady. He glanced around the living room, eyes searching every corner and shadow. On the screen, the villagers of Monkeyville were being eaten, but neither Beast Boy nor Robin were paying any attention to the game anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hear what?" Beast Boy asked. "I didn't hear anything."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin took a deep breath, then another. Slowly, deliberately, his heartbeat slowed. He shook his head. "Never mind. Sorry. It's been a long day. What time is it?" He glanced at the clock: 1:03 am. He and Beast Boy had been playing for two hours.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beast Boy didn't seem to be buying it. "Uh, 1:03," he said. "Are you okay?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Of course," Robin said, trying his best to make it seem obvious. Suddenly, irrationally, the situation seemed comical. He must have looked funny, flying out of his seat for no discernible reason.  He forced a laugh. "For a moment there, I thought I heard Slade. Stupid, right?" He longed for Beast Boy to agree with him--Robin was being stupid, and everything was fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beast Boy smiled, looking confused but willing to humor him. "Ha, yeah. He breaks into our tower and his big evil plot is to make you lose at Mega Monkeys? Doubt it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin grinned, and this time it felt more real. "Do you think he even knows what video games are, though? He's like, a hundred years old."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey, now, give the man more credit," Beast Boy reprimanded, shaking a finger. "He's at least a hundred and fifty."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"He could probably use some video games," Robin reasoned. "Stress relief."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I doubt anything could relieve that man's stress. He must have a lot weighing on him--his outfit alone probably weighs half a ton."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well. Robin could certainly attest to that--the outfit Slade had forced onto him during his apprenticeship had been heavier than anything he'd had to wear before. It was all the armor. Thick metal plating that seemed useful in concept, but didn't do a lot to dull the pain when Slade decided Robin deserved punishment. He quickly sobered. "It's late," he said. "We should go to bed."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Uh, yeah," Beast Boy said, looking confused at the topic change. "You know, old people like Slade go to bed </span>
  <em>
    <span>way </span>
  </em>
  <span>early. 'Dear me, it's four pm! Bedtime was half an hour ago!'"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Robin wasn't in the mood for jokes anymore. "Goodnight, Beast Boy."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beast Boy sagged a little. "Goodnight."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Robin strode down the hallway to his room, he could have sworn he heard someone calling after him. But every time he turned around, no one was there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He slept with the lights on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he woke up, the room was unbearably bright. Along with the lamp on his bedside table and the overhead lights, the sun shone straight through Robin's window. He checked his clock. It was seven thirty. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raven and Starfire were already awake when he made his way to the kitchen for coffee. "Good morning, friend!" Starfire gushed, dashing over for a bruising good-morning hug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He patted her awkwardly on the back. "Good morning, Star."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She released him, and hovered behind him as he turned on the coffee machine and started a pot. "Did you sleep well?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah," Robin told her. Of course, that was what he said every morning. Usually it was true. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Unlike some of us," Raven said pointedly. "Could you and Beast Boy have been any louder?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Uh." Robin scratched his neck. "Sorry."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raven released a quick breath through her nose that, over the months, Robin had learned to interpret as exasperated forgiveness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ooh," Starfire squealed. "You finally partook in Beast Boy’s games of video? Marvelous! I tried once, but was unable to operate the Baboon Blade."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin sipped his coffee and watched the news, and just after eight, Cyborg strode into the room for waffles. "Morning, y'all," he greeted as he searched the fridge. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The kitchen was relatively quiet as the four of them got ready for the day ahead--Raven sipped herbal tea and read, Starfire prepared a bowl of suspicious looking jelly for Silkie, Cyborg toasted so many waffles one would think he was preparing to feed an army, and Robin drank a lot of coffee and stocked his utility belt in case there was a battle that day. Beast Boy was still in his room, presumably sleeping in. Robin yawned. He wished he could sleep in. But that wasn’t the kind of thing a leader would do, and Robin was determined to be the best leader he could.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Robin," said Slade, voice sounding out of nowhere and shattering the peaceful quiet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin whipped around so quickly, some coffee splashed out of his mug and almost hit Raven's book.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Watch it," she complained. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't respond. He was breathing quickly, heart beating through his chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The moment passed. Robin had imagined it. He turned back around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Robin," Slade said again. This time, Robin almost fell off his chair--he held onto it tightly with one hand. He glanced one by one at his teammates. "Do you hear that?" he asked hesitantly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They all turned to look at him. "Hear what?" Raven asked, one eyebrow raised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin shrugged, trying to play it off like it was nothing. "Thought I heard something," he said casually. "Never mind."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Starfire nodded understandingly. “On my planet, we call that the </span>
  <em>
    <span>glorgleknerf.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin elected not to further inquire about the definition of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>glorgleknerf.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Cyborg and Starfire returned to their tasks, and after a moment of suspicious glaring, so did Raven. But Robin was too distracted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he finished his coffee, he decided he would go to the training room and get some practice in. At least he would be alone there, and he could clear his mind. He was probably just imagining things because he had been thinking about Slade so much lately. He just had to get his mind off it. He stood up, not having eaten any breakfast, and left, refusing Cyborg's offer of waffles on the way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Robin," Slade insisted again. His voice was loud, like he was standing right next to Robin, but quick glances to his sides confirmed that the mercenary was nowhere to be seen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin breathed out heavily and stomped the rest of the way to the gym, but did not give any other sort of response. If his teammates heard him talking to a Slade that wasn’t there--well. He wasn’t going to let that happen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the training room, Robin elected to have a long run on the treadmill. It was good practice for stamina, suitably exhausting, and the machine made enough noise that if Slade tried to bother him again, he would hopefully be drowned out. Plus, running was mindless exercise. Something he didn't need to put thought into.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He started the machine at a low jog to warm up, then sped it up until it was at its fastest setting comfortable for humans. It could go faster, but that was more for Beast Boy's cheetah form than anything else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Robin," Slade called, and suddenly he stood right in front of the treadmill--right in front of Robin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stumbled and just barely managed not to fall off. Robin kept running. He was not going to respond. It was only in his mind. Slade was not real. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, he felt a cold sweat bead at his forehead--and it wasn't from the exercise. Suddenly, he felt nauseous. Oh god. Slade was either in the tower, or in Robin's head. Neither was good. Hearing voices call your name? That was normal. That happened to everybody now and then. A full-bodied hallucination was a little harder to explain away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slade seemed annoyed at Robin's failure to respond--he crossed his arms. "Just because you are in denial," he said, voice silky, "does not mean I am not here."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin gritted his teeth and shook his head. He wasn't going to respond--wasn't going to give Slade the satisfaction. He flicked a knob on the treadmill to take the speed up a notch, huffing and puffing with exertion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You can't ignore me forever," Slade said, and suddenly his voice sounded like a threat. "Something is going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>crack</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had no doubt of that--but whatever cracked, it wasn’t going to be Robin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A curl of hot loathing settled in his stomach. God, he had been so </span>
  <em>
    <span>weak </span>
  </em>
  <span>before. Letting Slade--nothing but the image of him!--get to his head so badly. He had lain on the floor, unable to fight back. Begged</span>
  <em>
    <span>, pleaded </span>
  </em>
  <span>for his life with a man who wasn’t even there</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It had gotten him nowhere. He wasn’t going to beg again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He owed it to his team to be strong. This wasn’t about Robin--this was about the people he was defending. They were superheroes, for god’s sake, and a weak, hallucinating kid did not meet that definition. Robin flicked the speed up another notch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you scared of, Robin?” Slade demanded, loud enough that if he was really there, the Titans would have heard him. “What are you running from?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gasping for breath, Robin flicked the speed up again. He almost stumbled, but managed to maintain his stride. Sweat poured down his back, down his forehead, matting down his hair and making his clothing stick. Maybe if he could breathe, he would have responded, but all his energy was focussed on the run--he had to keep running. He had to be strong. For his teammates. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slade laughed, a deep, hideous cackle that drowned out even the sound of Robin’s own footsteps and heaving breaths. “You’re afraid of </span>
  <em>
    <span>me, </span>
  </em>
  <span>aren’t you?” He took a step around, so that he stood beside the treadmill, watching Robin with that one piercing eye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin heaved, </span>
  <em>
    <span>gasped</span>
  </em>
  <span> for air. He could feel his legs weakening. His throat hurt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was not scared of Slade. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>strong. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Slade was laughing again, and this time it sounded less evil and more like he found something genuinely funny. “Robin,” he said with what sounded like a grin, “If you’re so strong, how come you’ve never beaten me?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Robin gritted his teeth. Turned up the speed. Ran. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve seen you at your lowest, Robin.” Slade leaned in, disgustingly close, but Robin didn’t look at him. He stared ahead, his footsteps pounding on the treadmill’s moving track. “Laying on the floor, begging for my mercy.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Robin shook his head, teeth gritted. He wasn’t going to respond. Slade was lying. Nevertheless, suffocating shame filled his chest and made breathing more difficult than it already was. What if Slade was right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And, of course, I’ve seen you at your strongest--at the top of your game. And guess what I saw then?” Slade, leaning in, paused a moment for effect. “I saw a weak little boy who couldn’t even save his friends--let alone himself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shut. Up!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Robin managed to heave out, gasping irregularly. He stumbled and this time, couldn’t catch himself in time. He hit the moving track of the treadmill, now set at a speed much higher than designed for people, and was flung off, right into a rack of training weapons. They fell and clattered to the ground around him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stood up, slowly, painfully, still unable to breathe quite right. The left side of his face, his arm, and his leg was covered in nasty roadburn from the treadmill, slowly welling up with blood that dripped sluggishly down. Robin barely noticed it, despite the nagging pain. Slade had reappeared right beside him, right by the brick wall of the training center. He was laughing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that what you call </span>
  <em>
    <span>strong, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Robin?” he goaded, his one visible eye widened in mocking. “Is that how you’re going to defeat me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shut up!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Robin yelled again. Rage was mixing with the shame in his stomach, curling together to create a bright red haze of loathing. He couldn’t think as he stumbled on shaky legs towards Slade. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Get out! Shut up, get out, no one wants you here! I hate you!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, but Robin.” Slade didn’t back down as Robin stumbled towards him, exhausted and threateningly full of rage. “Is it me you truly hate? Or is it yourself?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no room for anything logical in Robin’s brain as he pulled back his fist and flung it at Slade with all the force in his body. He couldn’t see through the haze of red, could hardly breathe let alone </span>
  <em>
    <span>think </span>
  </em>
  <span>as he swung at Slade with the most powerful punch he had ever thrown. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His fist went straight through Slade’s metal-plated chest. Straight through, and right into the rock-solid cinder block wall beyond. There was a crack. Slade was gone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin stumbled and fell to the ground against the wall. </span>
  <em>
    <span>My hand. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had broken his hand. He had punched a wall. Slade wasn’t there--of course he wasn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And suddenly all the pain he hadn’t felt before came washing over him. He was bleeding from his face, arm, leg, and his side. His ankle--he had twisted or maybe even fractured his ankle in the fall from the treadmill. And his hand. Oh god, his hand hurt. He had broken it before, of course, but this--had he ever full on punched a brick wall before? Not that Robin could remember. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he was so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>tired. Probably from the run, but also from the fractured night of broken sleep. He knew he should get up, get to his room or </span>
  <em>
    <span>anywhere </span>
  </em>
  <span>the Titans couldn’t find him, but Robin couldn’t even muster up the gumption to get off the floor. Something hot--something that stung--pricked at the back of Robin’s eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t going to cry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But, without his permission, tears began to fall, and nothing he tried could stop them. God. He was so defeated. So pathetic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His mask was disgusting anyways, caked with blood and sweat, so he peeled it off and threw it to the ground so he could wipe away the tears properly. He was still gasping for breath he couldn’t seem to catch. It was just from the run, that was all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Robin, </span>
  </em>
  <span>guess what!” called an eager, excited voice from the gym’s entrance a moment or so later. “I found this secret fortress on level eight, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>have </span>
  </em>
  <span>to come check it out with--oh. Ummm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin scrambled to put himself together, to slap on his mask and turn away so Beast Boy couldn’t see the blood, but the damage was done, and his legs were still so weak he couldn’t force himself to stand. Robin didn’t look at his teammate--kept his head down, because he didn’t think he could bear the </span>
  <em>
    <span>shame </span>
  </em>
  <span>if Beast Boy saw--but it was too late, the green shapeshifter was dashing over to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dude!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he exclaimed, “Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, yeah, doing fine,” Robin managed to say, struggling to keep his voice steady. It was a good thing Beast Boy had found him instead of someone else; this was the only teammate he had any hope of fooling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beast Boy facepalmed dramatically. “That was a dumb question,” he said, seemingly to himself. “Listen, man, it’s gonna be okay, I’ll go grab Raven--”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Robin shouted. Beast Boy jumped. “No, no, don’t get Raven. Everything’s fine. Leave me alone.” The tears, horrifyingly, wouldn’t seem to stop, and he was left turning his head away so no one would see. But that only revealed his bloody side more, so there really was no winning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Beast Boy wasn’t going to be deterred. “Cyborg, then? You need help, man.” He turned around to take in the scene around him. The weapons, flung from their rack and scattered over the floor, and the still-running treadmill. The smear of blood across the floor where Robin had fallen. “Dude,” he breathed out after an agonizing moment. “What even </span>
  <em>
    <span>happened</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I--” Robin began. He just needed a plausible explanation. Something that would make Beast Boy stop worrying, that would explain the mess around them--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--but there was nothing to say. His breath caught in his throat and he had to force himself to continue. “Remember, last night. Slade.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beast Boy’s eyes widened in sudden understanding. “Did… did you see him?” he asked hesitantly. He still couldn’t believe what he was seeing, himself. Robin… crying. He had never seen that before. He hadn’t thought he would </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever </span>
  </em>
  <span>see it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t tell the others,” Robin insisted, neither confirming nor denying the accusation. He finally turned to face Beast Boy, and his eyes were frantic. Finally, he was able to grasp control of himself. The tears had stopped, and his legs were steady enough to stand up on. His hand--god, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>hand</span>
  </em>
  <span>--still throbbed, but Beast Boy hadn’t seen it yet, and if he had his way, he never would. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He strode over to his mask, where he’d left it on the ground, and put it back on one-handed. It made the job a little difficult, but he managed to clumsily secure it over his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beast Boy noticed. “Is something up with your hand?” He asked so hesitantly, it was like he didn’t want to know the answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Robin said in a tone that left no room for questions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” said Beast Boy doubtfully. He watched, concerned, as Robin turned off the treadmill and began to pick up the scattered weapons. Beast Boy dashed in to help, noticing still that Robin wasn’t using his right hand, and followed Robin out the door and into the hallway. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So…” Beast Boy began, not sure what to say or how to help. “Uh, have you had breakfast yet? Cuz I just got a new box of blueberry tofu waffles, and--”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“No thank you,” Robin managed to say through gritted teeth. “I’m going to change. Then we’ll start our daily patrols.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Uh,” Beast Boy said, looking concerned. “Changing sounds like a great idea, totally do that for sure, but… are you sure you want to patrol today? Could be a nice day to just, you know, chillax, and all that--”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t have time to take breaks.” Robin stepped into his room, closed the door behind him, and left Beast Boy alone in the hall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin didn’t allow himself to think as he pulled on a fresh uniform and tossed the other one into his laundry bin. Didn’t stop to look at his injuries, and definitely didn’t stop to grimace at the horrible aching of his throbbing, broken hand. It was a good thing his uniform included gloves. None of the Titans would suspect anything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Except, the hand was swelling rather unappealingly. Getting the glove on wasn’t easy, but he made it happen through sheer force of will. The same went for his steel-toed boot--his ankle was throbbing and he could only </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>put his weight on it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But, generally speaking, he was fine. Worse had happened to him before, that was for sure. When his uniform was on, he looked into the mirror with satisfaction. There would be no hiding the roadburn on his face, but he could just say he’d fallen, and no other questions would be asked. Yeah, Robin was doing better than ever--and, he noticed with great satisfaction, no more Slade! Though the punch had never landed, it must have done the job, at least temporarily. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He strode into the kitchen, his usual aura of confidence fixed in place and there to stay. The Titans all gathered on the couch for their morning meeting, and only Beast Boy seemed suspicious when Robin explained away his scraped face--he had tripped and face planted. The others only laughed, which was perfect, if a little embarrassing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Additionally, no one noticed when he avoided use of his right hand entirely, and soon, they were all split up and patrolling the city.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin elected to patrol by foot--privately, he knew there was no way he could use his R-Cycle with his hand like this--for the sake of stealth. His ankle burned with every step, but he reminded himself that he had felt worse. Much worse.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the bustling streets of Jump City there was no sign of Slade anywhere--everything was peaceful. It was an hour later that Cyborg finally found something to report over the communicators.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Robin, I’ve spotted the HIVE at the bank on first street. They’ve incapacitated the security guards and are taking money as we speak.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Got it, thanks, Cy. Don’t engage until we’ve all arrived. Keep hidden.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Copy that, boss.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin wasn’t too far from first street--he and Cyborg had been patrolling neighboring sectors. He arrived within three minutes and found Raven, Star, and Cy already on the scene--they were only waiting for Beast Boy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll wait for Beast Boy before engaging,” Robin decided. The four of them were hidden behind a wall, so the HIVE didn’t know they were there yet. Waiting for Beast Boy seemed like their best shot--Robin wasn’t sure how much damage he could do with his main hand out of commission, and the HIVE could be dangerous when they wanted to be. It would be best for the entire team to be present for the fight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The green shapeshifter arrived just a minute later, soaring in as an eagle. He transformed into his human form and landed beside them, ready to battle. His face was apprehensive, though. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Titans, go!” Robin commanded, and they threw themselves into the fight. While Star shot starbolts at Jinx and Cyborg wrestled Mammoth, Raven used her powers to begin dismantling Gizmo’s mechanics, much to his frustration. Robin dashed in to help Starfire, but before he could, a green hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude!” Beast Boy whispered. “Are you really sure you should be participating in this one?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Robin stepped away, shrugging Beast Boy’s hand off his shoulder. He gritted his teeth angrily. “I’m not going to endanger the team for my own sake.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He dashed back into the thick of the battle. With his left hand he managed to launch several small explosives at Jinx, tripping her up and allowing Starfire to land a few incapacitating blows. Then he threw himself at Gizmo, wielding his </span>
  <em>
    <span>bo </span>
  </em>
  <span>in his left hand. This did not escape Raven’s notice--it seemed nothing did--but she had no time to comment on it. Gizmo, however, was also observant. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t know you were left handed, bird brain,” he taunted in his annoying, nasally voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I could beat you </span>
  <em>
    <span>no-handed</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Robin replied, and kept fighting. He couldn’t let himself be distracted. But his weakness had been detected, and the criminal was zeroing in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jinx and Mammoth had already been taken down--neither of them had ever been particularly smart, and the force of five titans against them had been too much. Gizmo was almost taken care of, too--Raven’s powers had done a serious number on his machines, and without them, he was pretty helpless. But he knew Robin’s hand was hurt. That could be bad, if he knew how to wield his advantage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gizmo pulled out a laser blaster and began firing at Robin, but the beam was fortunately easy to avoid. He dove under the line of fire, towards Gizmo, intending to trip the little villain up so he could be restrained. While Raven used her powers to confiscate Gizmo’s gun, Robin grabbed him by the ankle to yank him to the ground. Gizmo yelled and struggled, but Robin’s grip on his leg was too strong. Gizmo’s face, grimacing in defeated frustration, suddenly lit up. As Robin commanded Raven to handcuff him, Gizmo, in one deliberate motion, brought his foot down on Robin’s injured right hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a crack, and suddenly the pain was a hundred times worse than it had been all day. It was fiery--lightning hot and all consuming, all but blinding. He let out a shocked, agonized yell. If his hand had been broken before, it must be shattered now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raven was quick to restrain Gizmo, and soon all three of the villains had been handcuffed and, for safety, tied together. Robin remained on the ground. He knew he should get up--should reassure the Titans that everything was okay and congratulate them on a job well done--but at the moment he was having difficulty breathing and couldn’t think of anything but the pain. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Starfire ran to him. “Robin, friend!” she gasped, kneeling down beside him. “Are you the okay? I saw what that Gizmo--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, Star, I’m fine,” Robin interrupted through gritted teeth. He wasn’t fully concentrated on their conversation, but it was important to fool her. If he could just get to the med bay in Titans Tower, he could work on fixing himself up without anyone knowing he’d ever been hurt in the first place. Except Beast Boy, but honestly, Robin trusted him not to tell. He could always bribe him with Mega Monkeys or Tofu, at any rate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Starfire looked surprised. “Oh,” she said, green eyes wide. “Marvelous. In that case, shall we resume patrolling?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin shook his head. “I think we’re fine for today,” he told Star. “We should just head home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With more of an effort than he’d ever had to make in his life, Robin stood and strode casually over to Cyborg. His hand was throbbing, and the pain was making him nauseous and sweaty. But he was experienced at hiding pain. During his apprenticeship with Slade, more specifically, he had never let slip that anything hurt, ever. It could have cost him his--or one of his friend’s--life. “You brought the T-Car, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep!” Cyborg beamed, clearly as enamoured as ever with his vehicle. “I’ll give us all a ride back to the tower, if patrols are done.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Perfect, thanks,” Robin agreed, trying not to show his immense relief. There was no way he was walking all the way back home now. Much as he wanted to be strong, Robin liked to think he knew his own limits.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They all piled into Cyborg’s car, and Robin didn’t even complain when Beast Boy called shotgun. Conversation was beyond him at this point. He couldn’t focus on anything other than the way his hand burned with every movement. He breathed in and out deliberately--sort of an exercise to distract from the pain. It didn’t work very well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At some point in the drive he blacked out, slumping backwards into his seat, but the spell was brief. He came to before they made it home, and hoped no one had been paying him enough attention to warrant an explanation for his little impromptu nap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin turned to look out the other window, and caught Raven’s eye. She was glaring at him appraisingly--like she knew. Robin turned away immediately. If anyone was going to see through his mask, so to speak, it would be her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pain was still fierce when Cyborg pulled into the garage, and even as the other Titans got out of the car, Robin stayed put. He couldn’t fathom mustering up the energy to wake it upstairs just yet--even the thought of unlocking his seat belt was daunting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I’ll just chill here for a minute,” he said by way of explanation when the team waited expectantly for him to follow them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cyborg shook his head. “I’m not leaving anyone alone with my baby,” he said. “Not even you, Robin. You know what happened last time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin gritted his teeth. He had to get this under control. His pain was making him testy and frustrated, but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what to say next--what had he even been talking about in the first place?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car. And getting out of it. “I just have to check something,” Robin insisted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll help,” said Raven, voice hard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too,” Beast Boy said, staring at Robin. His eyes were angry. Robin looked away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cyborg looked confused. “Whatever, I guess,” he told them. “If I see a single </span>
  <em>
    <span>speck of dust </span>
  </em>
  <span>on my baby, there will be hell to pay.”  He strode away, Starfire on his heels. She looked doubtful and concerned, but in the end, followed Cyborg away. Robin was grateful. She could never see him like this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as the door had swung shut behind them, Beast Boy slammed his hands to his sides in anger. “That’s enough, Robin! You’re being a </span>
  <em>
    <span>total dumbass</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Tell Raven what happened. She’ll heal you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing happened,” Robin managed to lie. He was feeling dizzy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop lying! If you don’t tell her, I will.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have no right--” Robin cut himself off, unable to continue. The pain was growing, immense and all-consuming. Without his consent, an embarrassing sound that was half-groan, half-whine escaped him. He leaned back into the seat of the car. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something weird must have been happening with Robin’s ears, because while he registered Beast Boy’s voice, he couldn’t make out what his friend was saying. It was like he was underwater, ocean waves roaring over him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly Raven was leaning over him, and though she was usually so in control of her emotions, she seemed--upset. The black energy of her magic surrounded his hand and ankle, and the pain numbed considerably. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your hand is shattered,” she told him, voice tight with controlled anger. “Without my powers, I doubt it would ever heal correctly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But with your powers?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll be fine in a week or two.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His main concern assuaged, Robin turned on Beast Boy, hovering worriedly on the side. “You told her!” he accused.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Uh, duh! I wasn’t just going to let you walk around with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>shattered hand</span>
  </em>
  <span>, dude!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was going to take care of it!” Robin snapped. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh really? The way you took care of it earlier? Because pardon me if I don’t think that’s--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean,” Raven interrupted, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>earlier. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Was it already broken before Gizmo?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” said Robin at the same time as Beast Boy exclaimed, “Yes!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They glared at each other for a moment, and Beast Boy continued, “I don’t know how. I walked into the training room and there were weapons all over the floor, and the treadmill was--"</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I punched a wall,” Robin finished for him before he could tell the rest of the mortifying tale. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raven and Beast Boy both stared at him incredulously. “You punched a wall?” Raven repeated. When he didn’t deny it, she asked, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why </span>
  </em>
  <span>did you punch a wall?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin couldn’t make himself respond. He opened his mouth and tried, but no sound was coming out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luckily, Beast Boy seemed to have filled in the rest. His eyes widened with sudden understanding. “Because you saw Slade,” he breathed out. “You meant to punch </span>
  <em>
    <span>him.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raven’s eyes bored into him. “Is he right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with a sudden wash of shame and guilt, Robin knew he wasn’t going to be able to deny it any more. Pathetic. He was lying to his teammates who trusted him, and he couldn’t even do it correctly--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Robin,” Raven snapped, pulling him out of his thoughts abruptly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, fine, it’s true,” he admitted. “I just--I wanted him to go away. I thought he would, when the dust was gone, but all morning I was hearing his voice and when he actually appeared, I just--I got mad. So I tried to punch him, and I punched a wall instead.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There!” Beast Boy burst out, flinging his hands out. “Was that so hard?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Shut up,” Raven told him. “Robin, why did you hide it from us? We could have helped.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin swallowed down the guilt that was rising in his throat. “I wanted you to respect me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you think we wouldn’t have if you’d been honest?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Robin scoffed. “What would honesty have sounded like? ‘I tried to punch a hallucination?’ I don’t think so!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if it was one of us?” Beast Boy asked. “If Star was seeing Slade. Would you think she was crazy, or would you just want to help her?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thought was horrifying. If Star--sweet, compassionate Starfire--was hiding a broken bone from Robin, he’d never forgive himself. For not noticing, and for not being trustworthy enough for her to have felt safe telling him. He didn’t want his teammates to have to hide </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And--suddenly Robin understood. He sucked in a quick breath, sudden vulnerability rising in his chest. Was that how his teammates felt about him? He exhaled shakily, his eyes stinging with tears for the second time that day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he said, to Beast Boy and Raven. Raven did that little nostril-exhale thing that meant he was forgiven, and Beast Boy smiled a little, and--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--they were going to be okay.</span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some things to take note of:</p>
<p>In the scene where Robin isn't wearing his mask around Beast Boy, nobody makes a huge deal of seeing Robin's face because I feel like he has revealed his identity to his teammates. In the Teen Titans Judas Contract movie (which was so good btw) the team members all know each other's names and faces, and I feel like that makes more sense than them all hiding from each other.</p>
<p>Constructive criticism is totally welcomed, as are writing prompts! if anyone has any titans prompts they'd like to see written, I'd love to see them lol.</p>
<p>also I had a friend read this before I published it, and they said to them it seemed a little bb/rob ish. which fyi wasn't my intent, but feel free to interpret it that way if you're into that ship.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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